When the voice is reflecting unclearness from within

“When clearness is nowhere to be found for you, so will the sound of your life be equally broken and unclear, until you lift the veil and vision and voice are reunited again.” ~ Sylvia Simone Gerssen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realise that I absolutely know that all that I project outwards is a reflection of what is going on inside, yet on the point of my voice and voice clarity I couldn’t make the connection between my inner and outer world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the fact that I could not yet see how my inner state is reflecting on the clarity of my voice. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see that there is a connection between my inner clarity about my life and the clarity of my voice, out of protectiveness when it comes to how I like to see myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who knows what she wants and being in control over my life and all that doesn’t meet that picture cannot exist, yet when it comes to my business I am the opposite and I can’t apply what I want and thus I will deny it and go round in circles to be seemingly busy without any known purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to admit to myself that I do not believe in myself and deep down not believe that I am able to do business-related things, even though I have seen myself do these things before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure and simply beat around the bush to prolong the moment before it becomes clear that I will fail. Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid clarity, clearness about where I stand, not speaking up about what is holding me away from clarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind vagueness and fogginess about how to move on in my life and what I am actually doing to move on as if I need to avoid clarity since that would not be for me because I would fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create stage fright for actual living and making a living and to believe others that have expressed doubt when it comes to my work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring this unclearness through in my voice, the mirror of my beingness, the moment I was going to use my voice to make a living with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand why I was sabotaging myself with the one thing that could bring me further in life, while it was not so much sabotaging myself as well as my body speaking to me about my inner life that I had been hiding so well that I could not see and speak clear anymore. 

When and as I see myself going into an unclear voice, a voice that breaks up, I stop and breathe. I realise that I as my body am reminding myself about my inner state and that instead of hiding it and hiding for it I can move myself out of it. And so, I commit myself to use my unclear voice as a reminder of not being clear about myself and my life in that moment.

When and as I see myself not being clear about myself in moments, I stop and breathe. I realise that in such moments I am standing in the doorway of change and that walking through it is my only option to bring about that change. And so, I commit myself to breathe in those moments look inside and see where I am not clear yet and change my view and attitude about the unclearness so I can become clear and able to act from a point of clearness again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this:
close-alt close collapse comment ellipsis expand gallery heart lock menu next pinned previous reply search share star