Not wanting to hurt others.

“Not wanting to hurt others equals not wanting to get hurt.” ~ Sylvia Simone Gerssen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to hurt others when I can be of support for that other and rather not share myself out of a belief that I might hurt their feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to hurt others when I can be of support for that other out of fear that they might hurt me from a point of self-defense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what another can do to me when I share myself as support and within that making myself smaller/insignificant than I’m really are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be okay with being smaller/insignificant than I really are under the pressure of this fear of potentially getting hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop back-chats while being smaller/insignificant simply because it does not feel okay and that frustration of doing this onto myself needs an outlet in order to keep some form of balance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself more/superior while sitting under the blanket of being smaller/insignificant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a strong urge to share support and being able to see that this support would be beneficial for another, yet I let this fear to get hurt by another overrule all there is in such a particular moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I am hurting myself the most by not being my utmost potential and letting fear rule.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view my reality through fear and supposedly through the eyes of the other which morphs my reality into a surreal play directed by me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust my ability to determine whether I really would hurt someone with my shared support and when not. Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself enough to let this fear go and see in real life what it means to support others as me again without a starting point of fear.

When and as I see myself holding myself back, making myself smaller while knowing my support would be beneficial from a point of self-honesty, I stop and breathe. I realise that only I can stop this fear and see beyond that fear. I realise that my giving has nothing to do with how the other will take/receive since that is not within my power/influence. I realise that I’m hurting myself by not enabling myself to live my utmost potential. I realise that doing myself short will make my life more difficult while facing the consequences of it. And thus, I commit myself to allow myself to see where I can be of support for others and where I can be of support for myself as well and see through my own bullshit in self-honesty, and that what stands, is what will make a share/support beneficial whether the other reacts to it or not, since that is not the criterion for giving support.

2 replies to “Not wanting to hurt others.

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